Sent by my wonderful friend Wanda, and just goes to show you, we do have a good bit of Southern appreciation.
WHO SAYS REDNECKS AREN'T REAL BRIGHT??
The next day, the FBI agents
descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the
The phone rings at Billy Bob's
house. "Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI
"Merry Christmas Buddy"
And on another note, this one was sent to me by Kimani. Wonder how much the doctor got paid...
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
He said, "Your husband is
suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband's disorder will surely
Each morning fix him a healthy
Be pleasant and make sure he is in a
For lunch, make him a nutritious meal
he can take to work.
And for dinner, prepare an especially
nice meal for him.
Don't burden him with chores, as this
could further his stress.
Don't discuss your problems with him;
it will only make his stress worse.
Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs.
Encourage him to watch some type of
team sporting event on television.
And, most importantly make love with
your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim.
If you can do this for the next 10
months to a year, I think
your husband will regain his strength
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You're gonna die," she replied.
And finally, Wanda brings it on home...
little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog
a walk around the block?"
replied, "No, because she is in heat."
that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your
I think he's in the garage."
little girl went to the garage and said, "Dad, may I
Belle for a walk around the block?
I asked Mom,
she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."
said, "Bring the Belle over here."
He took a rag,
it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside
it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle
the leash and only go one time around the block."
little girl left, and returned a few minutes later
no dog on the leash.
Surprised, her Dad
little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway
the block, so another dog is pushing her home."
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