EBPN
Sent by my wonderful friend Wanda, and just goes to show you, we do have a good bit of Southern appreciation.
WHO SAYS REDNECKS AREN'T REAL BRIGHT??
Hello, is this the FBI?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report about
my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hiding
marijuana inside his
firewood."
"Thank you very much for the
call, sir."
The next day, the FBI agents
descend on Billy Bob's house. They search the
shed where the firewood is kept.
Using axes, they bust open every
piece of
wood, but find no marijuana. They
swore at Billy Bob and left..
The phone rings at Billy Bob's
house. "Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI
come?"
"Yeah!" "Did they chop your
firewood?" "Yep."
"Merry Christmas Buddy"
And on another note, this one was sent to me by Kimani. Wonder how much the doctor got paid...
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.
He said, "Your husband is
suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband's disorder will surely
be terminal:
Each morning fix him a healthy
breakfast.
Be pleasant and make sure he is in a
good mood.
For lunch, make him a nutritious meal
he can take to work.
And for dinner, prepare an especially
nice meal for him.
Don't burden him with chores, as this
could further his stress.
Don't discuss your problems with him;
it will only make his stress worse.
Try to relax your husband in the evening by wearing lingerie and giving him plenty of back rubs.
Encourage him to watch some type of
team sporting event on television.
And, most importantly make love with
your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim.
If you can do this for the next 10
months to a year, I think
your husband will regain his strength
and health."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You're gonna die," she replied.
And finally, Wanda brings it on home...
Gasoline
Shortage !!!
A
little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog
for
a walk around the block?"
Mom
replied, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's
that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your
father.
I think he's in the garage."
The
little girl went to the garage and said, "Dad, may I
take
Belle for a walk around the block?
I asked Mom,
but
she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."
Dad
said, "Bring the Belle over here."
He took a rag,
soaked
it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside
with
it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle
on
the leash and only go one time around the block."
The
little girl left, and returned a few minutes later
with
no dog on the leash.
Surprised, her Dad
asked,
"Where's Belle?".
The
little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway
around
the block, so another dog is pushing her home."
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